FSR -- The Darkest Lord of Modern Times (faithfulreader) wrote,
FSR -- The Darkest Lord of Modern Times

Slasher's Guide to Gay Sex


When I entered fandom and learned the word slash I was very much surprised that girls were writing it. Lots and lots of it. And for writing it, I want to say: thank you!


But in describing relationships/sex scenes between guys my dear female co-fandomers make some mistakes. Well, if it were not so, I would have been even more surprised.


This post is meant to help female slashers in writing gay sex.


This post reflects no more than my most humble opinion, and it’s completely up to you whether to listen to me or not. But I think that hearing me out won’t hurt fandom in any way.


Also I think that it’s much more helpful to hear one gay man’s account on what gay sex is rather than a bunch of statistics. Remember that statistics has potential to prove whatever you want it to. As Nietzsche said, ‘Truth is a kind of misunderstanding that is used for gaining power.’


Please note that this post is an edited version of all of my previous posts.




Slasher’s Guide to Gay Sex:

one gay man’s perspective




If you are underage, please, go and have underage fun.

You are welcome to return to this post when you are of age.




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Hi! I have opened the posts for everyone now. Have fun!
interesting....this was rather eye-opening and fascinating. Thanks
is it bad that some of this made me lol though?
Thanks for your comment!
I don't think I have ever read anything as funny, yet informative, as this. As a female writer of slash (Torchwood and Sherlock), I greatly appreciate the time and effort you have put into this.

Awesome resource and fun to read. Thanks!

Hey! Thanks so much! (Sorry that it took some time to reply. xD)
one question, if you dont mind. I know you wrote this many years ago and are sick of questions but I'm gonna give it a shot anyway. XD

"Many gay men keep to ‘tops’ and ‘bottoms’ even outside the bedroom"... what do you mean? Are you saying that 1) gay men are pretty open to using these labels in social settings 2) a majority (of the gay men you know) stick to their preference of being a top and bottom during sex or 3) there are personality characteristics that you associate with top/bottom that are in play even outside the bedroom. i.e being a top/bottom is a 'role' one plays outside the bedroom. i was under the impression that top just meant the guy who penetrates and the bottom is the penetratee and that there are variations like power bottoms etc.

It would be great if you could shed some light on my confusion!

Thanks x
Hey! Sorry that it has taken soooo long to reply!

You are definitely under the right impression that top is the guy who puts the dick into the bottom's arse. However, your point (3) would be also the right description! The things that we like and our personalities are connected. That is not to say that top is like "man" and the bottom is like "girl", no. But there are things that tops have in common with other tops personality-wise and there are things that bottoms have in common with other bottoms personality-wise.

Hope this helps! xD


4 years ago


4 years ago

BTW, I love your guide. :)

I discovered it via Naruto fandom (though I am mainly a Destiel and SuperHusbands fan).
Thanks for your comment! I am glad that you liked my guide :))

Марина Амосова

November 15 2012, 14:35:54 UTC 4 years ago Edited:  November 15 2012, 14:41:48 UTC

Thank you very much. Some very important details of a woman really can not know, but in itself it will not check for fizilogii *^_^* . Your "guide" walks on the network, and I stumbled upon it. On behalf of the Russian ladies - thank you very much. ^ - ^
A small question: Is there any special behavior bottom? Because a few fictions do from the bottom of woman.I understand that different from almost any naturalization, but what parts are distinguished from the top of the bottom in public and in private. (I mean some small parts that replace sweet ladies giggle, or something like that.)
Sorry, I'm too meticulous. * ^ _ ^ *
If written with mistakes, I apologize.
Hi! Thanks for your comment! :)))

There are usually differences between tops and bottoms in everyday behaviour, but there does not have to be any differences. Sure, some bottoms are a bit girly, but then there are plenty of bottoms who are very manly and straight-acting. There are also many tops who are girly. So it is not an easy thing to explain. But being a gay man I can usually guess who might be top and who might be btm.
Hello ^^
I found your guide so useful <3. I was desperate to read some good advices from someone who KNOWS how things are in the reality. I have a gay friend but never dare to ask him "oh, I want to write about sex in a gay relationship, can you tell me about it ?". I'm sure he would be OK with it but I'm too shy ^^".
So. Thank you ^^. I really want to improve my writing and sex (in a general way) is a part of it. I learned a lot of things and I will try to apply it. I particularly liked the part when you said "When you are writing a male character, you shouldn’t forget to mention some masculine traits – they can be small things – at least shaving or hairy hands/legs/chest or doing something that requires a lot of physical strength. Just don’t focus on them!!! That would look artificial.". I always find it difficult to do it.
Once again, thank you ^^
(and sorry if I made mistakes, english isn't my mother tongue)
Thanks for your nice comment! :))
You don't know howw useful this post has been to me. I'm about to write my first smut scene and I was so confused as to how to make it without sounding so harsh or clinical. But, reading your guide has helped me to orginize my ideas and give it a try.
I am happy I was helpful :)))
I always wondered why the authors of slash never just tried to have analsex or use a dildo or something...sure, it feels different for women (at least I think so...) but at least it's something.
That is a good idea :))

Or they can at least watch a lot of gay porn on the Internet :)))
I just want to hug you. Being female, I'm missing certain hardware (heh) to be able to ever write from experience, but this is very informative. I came wanting a quick and dirty lesson in gay smut, but got an education in what makes great writing, regardless of the topic. It all boils down to investing in language, and your characters and your stories. It's that investment that makes all the difference.

I really can't summaraize why this is so superb, but please know that it is, and I plan on adding it to memories so I can really reference it for the future.
Thanks for your comment! Hugs :)))
I was pretty surprised to find someone actually taking out the time to write stuff out. I never could describe how anal sex felt other than just fucking amazing and really intense. By the time things are done, I can't really think of words and hardly think it'd be appropriate to be writing down how I feel during the act ahaha.

Though as a transman, I lack the complete understanding of being a top with a biological penetrative dick.

So, the description of "just like a straight man into woman" doesn't really help explain it?
I've asked and asked.

Normally I get things like, it feels like putting your dick into a warm, oily blanket. Or into hot, smoothe velvet. (for vagina)
And for anal it is more, it's pulling in, sucking, clenching, really hot in temperature.
Mouth being more of a "vagina with a movable part" (if the bj is done right and teeth free)

So... I'm more interested in sensations in the dick. Whether penetrative, oral or by hand.

I mean, I do, and those who have clits, also have a small mini dick of their own, but the feeling, even though somewhat similar... is also super different.

So kinda just asking/requesting you to cover that.

For tl;dr sake:

Can you describe the sensations in the dick for: Penetration, being in the mouth, hand job by self and other.
Also like.. uncut vs cut? If you've asked others for whatever the opposite of yours is.
Thanks for your comment! :))

Sensations in the dick depend a lot on what kind of arse you fuck and what kind of mouth works on your dick. Arses come in all shapes and forms. Some are very nice and tight. Others are loose. Some are hot. Others are cold. Mouths are also very different. So it all depends on the guy.
This was a lot of help. Thank you.
I am happy I was helpful :))
This is so Wonderful! I'm inspired to work harder to improve my writing! This information is so helpful! THANK YOU!! XD
Thanks! :)))
Liked this post very much, I don't how I missed it before. While I don't write slash fanfict and already knew most of the mechanics, the emotional points were really helpful. Would you please friend me so I may read the practicals as well? Thank you
Practicals are open to everyone :))
I love this whole post, the stuff you said about the whole "Don’t reduce men to mindless animals with hormones instead of brains" is something I always get annoyed with too. Authors make the bottoms too girly and just why? Anyways I was always wondering about the enemas part too, now I know. Fanfiction always make everything clean and pretty and it's not really like that. Anyways thanks for this, I'll have to keep it all in mind. And btw I find if funny that you have a lack of fics with a straight man turning gay for a guy and yet my fandom that's about 50% of what is written. Cheers.
Thanks for your comment :))


June 10 2013, 09:09:33 UTC 4 years ago Edited:  June 10 2013, 11:59:04 UTC

Oh, wow, this is interesting! Thanks for writing/posting.

I know it's an old post but some problems/questions stay the same. I haven't written anything in ages but if I ever find the time/my muse again I'll try and use some of the things I've learnt here.

The problem is that yes, many of us don't have a gay best friend they could ask for help. Believe me, I would have done it if I knew who to ask. There are lots and lots of questions... I mean, there's the internet now and thanks to that, you are able to find guides for gay people who have the same questions regarding their real lives, and also lots of "educational" videos. Still, some questions remain.

I for one am more interested in the psychological aspects than physical facts but those physical facts are important as well. When I write slash, usually my characters do have some problems - I mean, to make it interesting. What should I write about if it was all hearts and flowers? They may be physical (thanks for mentioning that if the bottom comes first, it might be very uncomfortable if the f*cking continued - I assumed as much but thought this problem might be solved by lots of lube or also not be that existant due to "superfluous" skin and generally the parts being involved not being artificial and hard as plastic or metal but made of tissue etc.), they may be psychological (angst, realization, coming out, first time, fear of rejection etc.). Very intrigued by that "just like that" comment - I would love to hear more about psychological dilemmas like having been raised at a time when homosexuality was still considered a "disease", or illegal. Also things having to do with faith and upbringing, it being a sin or whatever. I mean, there were times when gay men not only married women for show but even sometimes killed themselves because they couldn't live their life as they wanted/needed to. And there still are people out there who think that way now! How to deal with problems like that? Can you just throw thoughts like that overboard and "just like that" f*ck someone? (This applies to straight men/women as well of course if they come from a background that doesn't consider sex natural or fun or whatever. But is it different with two blokes? Might it be easier for them because... there's no woman involved who you have to "respect"? None of them can get pregnant? Deflowered? The testosterone overrides all that? Whatever??)

Being active in a fandom which is based in the 70s, the safer sex aspect isn't that important in those stories although there's one person there who knows all about the risks that are about to come (Life on Mars - you know, timetravel?). How important do you consider accuracy regarding safer sex in fan fic? I have to say I've read your review of Minotaur's guide as well, plus that guide (which I hadn't heard about before, I have to admit). In my "studies" (LOL)/research up to now I've read comments like "no matter what they say and whether they are straight or gay, every man tries to 'shoot his load' as deeply inside his partner as possible" (sorry, can't recall original wording), on the other hand I've seen (and read) that often the top doesn't even come inside the bottom but finishes of with a hand job, mostly after having removed the condom in order to be able to shower his partner with his ejaculate. Sorry for being so blunt but why? Because it makes a better "c*m shot"? If you say a hand job doesn't do what f*cking does, why restrict yourself to it? And if you use a condom, why remove it just before coming? I'm sorry if I am too direct, or getting too personal - of course you don't have to answer those questions. It's just that those are questions which bug me because I do not understand what's going on in a bloke's mind then.

I don't even know whether you still read any comments on here, it's been a while since people posted here but I've only just found this so I'll just try and see whether there'll be any answer.

In any case, thanks for taking the time to inform and educate us little slash fic readers/writers. It is very much appreciated.
Hi! Thanks for your comment! Sorry for replying so late.

I would recommend watching Queer As Folk. Lots of material there when it comes to psychology

In porn a lot is done for show. Ejaculation in the end is a very important part of any porn film and most people find it extremely hot. In real life things are different. In most cases, top just comes inside the btm, me thinks. Some like to come on the face on the arse, but that is more like personal preferences. People find different things hot.

If one uses a condom, it is better to remove for a good cum shot in porn. Also in real life it might be better, as the hand would be on the dick itself, not through condom. Condom reduces the sensations a lot.

Hope I was helpful :)
Just curious, is the thing where you put in the fic something like the top says something like 'I'm going to screw you so hard you wont be walking straight the next day' (no saying exactly that though)
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